Strong Enough
by Seblainer
Summary: Season 4, Brian's cancer, my way. Warning: Contains SLASH. PS: Story banner linked in profile.


Fandom: Queer As Folk  
Title: Strong Enough  
Characters: Brian and Justin  
Pairing: Brian/Justin  
Rating/Warning: Slash, Strong Language  
Summary: Season 4, Brian's cancer, my way.  
A/N: This story is unbeta'd.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize and I don't claim to. I make no money for writing this story.

*Strong Enough*

Brian's POV:

I lie in bed, feeling like shit. Of course, this is nothing new. Ever since I found out that I have cancer, and since I've been going to radiation, I've been feeling like shit.

The doctors shoot me with their ray guns, and I can feel myself becoming less of a man, every single time that it happens. Part of me feels like saying, 'to hell with it.'

The toilet has become my best friend lately, and since I have been seeing so damn much of it, I had made a small bed on the floor of a few blankets and a pillow.

But today, my back is killing me, and I'd rather throw up in my bed, instead of spending another fucking night on the bathroom floor, just because I need to throw up, or because I have diarrhea.

I called Theodore this morning, to tell him that I wasn't going into Kinnetik today. After giving him a few details for some important accounts, I hung up, and ran to the bathroom.

I feel like shit for the way I've been treating Justin lately, but I can't help it. I don't want him or Michael to know that I have cancer. Hell, I don't want _anyone_, to know.

Suddenly, I hear the sound of someone banging on my door, and I just know that it's Justin. I don't want him to see me like this so I yell loudly, "Go the fuck away!"

I hear him yell on the other side of the door, asking me if I'm okay. It's then that I realize just how bad my voice sounds, and so I clear my throat, hoping that it will make my voice sound normal.

I don't want Justin to hear the pain in my voice, because then he'll probably try to come busting in, and check up on me. He'll be like all those other wanna-help fags that say, "Oh you can't, you mustn't."

I suddenly feel it rising in my throat, and I grab the trashcan that is sitting right next to my bed, and I empty the contents of my stomach, from the piece of sandwich I had eaten last night.

Moments later, to my surprise when I look up, I see Justin standing in front of me. I look up into his blue eyes, and he's staring back down at me. From the look on his face, I can tell that he wants to say something, but thankfully, Justin bites his tongue.

Before I can say anything, he walks into the bathroom, and a moment later, I hear him rummaging in the closet, and then I hear the water from the faucet running.

As I close my eyes, and try to feel better, I hear the water being turned off, and then I open my eyes once more. I see Justin ring the towel out, and then he joins me in the room once more.

Justin gently wipes my face with the washcloth, and suddenly, as if it appears out of thin air, he produces another washcloth, and begins to gently rub my neck with the second washcloth.

When he begins to speak, it surprises me. "Why didn't you tell me you had cancer? I wouldn't have freaked out on you. I just want to help you, Brian." His words are soft and sincere, and I realize something.

I had thought that Justin wouldn't love me anymore, when he found out about the cancer. I kept telling myself; Justin wouldn't be able to handle what was happening.

I was wrong. In reality, it's me, who can't handle everything that's going on. I can't handle feeling like a fucking invalid. It drives me crazy, that I now need help, even to take a piss.

However, as I look up at Justin once more, and see his 'Sunshine Smile,' I can't help but be grateful that he's here with me. I'm lucky that Justin didn't take one look at me, and then run screaming from the loft.

As if he knows what I'm thinking, Justin kisses me on the cheek, and for some reason, I find myself smiling. Justin speaks softly, and his words mean the world to me.

"I know that you think you were protecting me, from seeing you like this, but you're wrong, Brian. You think that I wouldn't be able to handle seeing you this way."

He pushes his blonde hair out of his face, and continues. "You know that I'm strong Brian, and you know that you are too. Together, we are unstoppable, and we will beat this. The two of us are strong enough to take anything that life decides to throw our way."

For some reason, I suddenly feel wetness on my face. It's then that I realize I'm crying. I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I have this beautiful man that loves me, and wants to be with me for the rest of my life, no matter what happens.

The end.


End file.
